Finding inspiration at home and at work

Today brought a birthday visit from my friend and her kids.  The plan was for Sarah to learn to make chicken, broccoli, and ziti from scratch.  Mission accomplished, with the added bonus of having uber-cool nails applied.  It touches my heart to know someone cared enough about my daughter to spend an afternoon doing something fun with her for her birthday, just because.

The coolest part of the day besides hanging out with my friend and seeing Sarah so happy was hanging out with Ryan.  His mom has given permission for me to write he is a very special client, one whose case in many ways defined my career and work.  In six months, he has started talking more, following directions, and his tantrums have lessened in intensity.  He started crying when it was time to go home, I talked him down and we made a deal that he would come back to play soon.  The tears stopped and he got over "it" and walked to the car peacefully.  When kids with autism get the right services, they can fly.  And, while the work has just begun, he is flying.  That is amazing to witness.

S's words

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S’s Story: Who I most admire

January 13, 2012, written by S.- Grade 4

“Chirp, chirp, chirp”, the birds sang.  “What a lovely day”, I thought, as I walked around Horn Pond with my mom.  My mom said,  “I love spending time with you.”  “Me too”, I replied.

My mom’s job is very important.  She is a special education advocate.  This means she helps kids gets special services from their schools.  I admire her because she will work for free sometimes.  She works for free so people with not much money can still have special services for their kid or kids.

After my mom’s done with her work, she is very generous to me and my siblings, J, A, and E.  She brings us to concerts, gets us pets, buys us toys and books, and helps us with projects.   She is also generous with her time and helps anyone who needs it.  If I told you everything she did that was generous I would end up writing up writing a book that is 300,000 pages long.  I have about 900,000 million memories of her being generous and nice.

She’s also very caring.  She gives my siblings and I plenty of food and a nice, big house, nice clothes, and so on. She makes me feel better when I am hurt.  She loves me a lot and that’s why she is very caring.

If I wanted to, I could write a book about my mom.  Now you know all about how caring and generous she is and how much I admire my mom.  My mom is great.  That’s why I chose her to write this story about.

The End

1/14/12

Little People

Sometimes, you get to play hooky from all the household chores, sit down on the rug and play with your kid.  At 9, Sarah still has an amazing imagination.  We have loved to play with this set of Fisher Price Little People, circa 1978-ish, my set from my childhood, over the years  The airport, the place, the hospital, camper, house... it is a blast to play with.  Coupled with our "bucket of ponies" and some of the other few toys we still have, Sarah and I had an awesome afternoon together.

The most special of bonds: E and S's stories

E and A celebrating his 11th birthday

I have written about A and his autism spectrum disorder dozens if not hundreds of times over the years, his accomplishments and challenges, school placements, the medications tried with enormous amounts of both trepidation and hope, quirky obsessions and downright mind-boggling behaviors, savant-like skills, and how autism as a whole effects our family.  This blog contains a whole lot of "the good, the bad, and the ugly" about how Andrew lives with autism, as well as what being an autism mom means for me.

What has never been included here, however, is how A's special needs have affected his siblings.  A's three sisters all had the opportunity to write down their thoughts, the younger two decided to accept the challenge.

They say things better than I ever could, through the lenses of children who perhaps have lost a bit of their childhoods because of their brother, despite the fact they love him very, very much.  Keep reading for a honest portrayal of being the "sib" of a brother with autism, written by those who will be around long after I am gone and hopefully still love him.

E's story:
        My brother A is very special to me.  My brother and I had a great relationship and would do everything together, at one point I was the only one he liked and the only one that could calm him down. As we grew up I started realizing that Andrew and I had changed and he would embarrass me in front of my friends. Today A always says how much he hates me and calls me "Buggy ". Every day is a challenge with A. His Autism has changed our family but at the same time I couldn't imagine him with out Autism.  Even though A says he hates me I will always love him.
       As A's sister I have seen him seen him go through different phases and seen him grow up. He has always loved weather and wants to be meteorologist. He loved having the chance to meet the local news station's weather man who he now stays in touch with. A has also had an obsession to Blue's Clues several times and made a board game about it.  
      A used to go to our cat Maddie when he was mad and would say "Hi Maddie, with the pretty pink paws." He also has a huge obsession with Build-A-Bears and he talks to them.  All 30 something bears are very loved and you can tell if you look at them. In the end A is very special to me. 

Written by EE, age 10.5 

S's story:


Having a brother with autism is very hard.  It is hard for many reasons, including:

• He is very noisy
• He can't control his feelings
• He goes through difficult phases

But there are good things about having a brother like A:

• He is very smart
• He likes Build-A-Bear and I can use his toys' clothes for mine
• He can be very sweet

One reason why it is hard for me to live with A is that it sometimes feels like he gets all the stuff and I don't get as much.  Another reason is that since he goes through phases very quickly he might want to play with you and want to do things with you one day, and the next he may seem to hate you and even want you to live in a different country (he has actually said that).  And your plans can always have to change because he may want something and it is hard for my parents to solve the problem.


I was assigned to write a "Concrete Poem" for school, which is a poem in which you combine art with the careful arrangement of words- in, around, or used to create the image.  I wrote about having a brother with autism.  This is my poem:

My brother has autism.

It is hard for some.

It can make you feel glum.

It can be very hard to overcome.

Although life can change every day,

And sometimes you don't get your way,

Yet, with my family I want to stay.

There are reasons that it is good and bad to have a brother with autism. But it is not one of the hardest things to do and it can be overcome.

Written by S, age 9 (dictated)