A perfect summer day

Best buddies

It's always fun to see friends who have moved away.  This weekend, we took a hike in the Fells, our goal to find one of the two towers that give you a nice view of the Boston skyline, with our now-Floridian friends.  We ended up at the Bear Hill Tower.  (I have my own painful issues with the locale, which I will keep to myself here).  The weather was perfect, no humidity.  Having always gone hiking there with friends who know where they are going and being directionally-challenged, it was amusing to have to park at one of the few lots (called Sheepfold), as opposed to a side street.  Why you might ask?  *Everyone* at Sheepfold has a dog.  Apparently, it is one of the few off-leash dog parks in the area.  I am scared of dogs no fan of dogs, but I will say everyone was super-friendly and no canine jumped on me.

It was a tad strange.  The family we met up with includes Emily's best buddy C (and her two younger siblings).  But, it wasn't her mom, who is my dear friend, who flew to Boston for the weekend.  Rather, it was their dad.  Another sad/bad divorce situation (do any of my friends stay married?),  so I smiled and just enjoyed it for the sake of the children.  (He was friendly and nice to me).  We all had so much fun.  Too much maybe- C's little sister suggested outloud (clearly 8 year olds do not have filters), "maybe you and my dad should get married."  

Oh my.

As I shrugged off the idea, I couldn't help but laugh. (I barely know the guy and he is the opposite of my "type").   No, I won't be dating my friend's ex-husband.

The morning and lunch were both lovely.  The kids had a blast, we enjoyed some yummy Mexican sandwiches called "tortas", and all was good.  Until, sadly, I realized I had pushed myself too far with the pulled muscle I already had, and the hiking caused *something* to tear/rip/cause excruciating pain.  After lots of ice and ibuprofen, a wonderful meal from an equally wonderful friend, and 48 hours having passed, I'll be hobbling to the doctor's this morning.

In the end, it was so worth it.  Hearing the kids' laughter is the BEST medicine for any parent.

Mother's Day

Just when you wonder if you're a good mom who is making an imprint in your child's life, she comes up with something like this.  Last year, S wrote this all by herself,  printed it out, and glued it onto the cover of the Boston Sunday Globe.

Mother's Day has never been the "Hallmark Holiday" for me that it can be for others.  I don't know my birth mother, who left me at an orphanage in India.  I am so blessed to have a few very special women in my life who have helped fill the void. I amblessed my birth mother did not give uo but cared enough to allow me to be adopted.

All I ever wanted was to be a mom, and a good one.   Being a mother has made me more tolerant, kinder, gentler, and more patient (the latter is a work in progress).

I will never lose sight of the fact that my children are more important than anything else.  The village they belong to loves them.

I know what it's like to feel the weight of the world (specifically the IEP/school one) sitting on your shoulders.   Today presented an opportunity to pay that friendship and kindness forward... To all you *extra-special* moms, know you are loved (even if your kids can't/don't tell you as much, even if you don't *get* breakfast in bed, flowers, or jewelery, even if you feel stressed to the point of exhaustion by a system which struggles/often-time fails to support kids and families).  Your children and friends care.  It takes a village, folks, doesn't it?  

S's "article" tells me I must be doing *something* right.

Happy Mother's Day!

S's words

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S’s Story: Who I most admire

January 13, 2012, written by S.- Grade 4

“Chirp, chirp, chirp”, the birds sang.  “What a lovely day”, I thought, as I walked around Horn Pond with my mom.  My mom said,  “I love spending time with you.”  “Me too”, I replied.

My mom’s job is very important.  She is a special education advocate.  This means she helps kids gets special services from their schools.  I admire her because she will work for free sometimes.  She works for free so people with not much money can still have special services for their kid or kids.

After my mom’s done with her work, she is very generous to me and my siblings, J, A, and E.  She brings us to concerts, gets us pets, buys us toys and books, and helps us with projects.   She is also generous with her time and helps anyone who needs it.  If I told you everything she did that was generous I would end up writing up writing a book that is 300,000 pages long.  I have about 900,000 million memories of her being generous and nice.

She’s also very caring.  She gives my siblings and I plenty of food and a nice, big house, nice clothes, and so on. She makes me feel better when I am hurt.  She loves me a lot and that’s why she is very caring.

If I wanted to, I could write a book about my mom.  Now you know all about how caring and generous she is and how much I admire my mom.  My mom is great.  That’s why I chose her to write this story about.

The End

1/14/12

Giving thanks

Today, I am thankful for friends who are my chosen family, children who give me purpose, bring me joy, and who I love more than life itself, work I truly enjoy (along with some really wonderful clients who I feel blessed to also call friends), and a village who envelops my family in caring, kindness, and strength.

Friends, however few, are honest, fun, compassionate, giving, and even inspirational.

In a year where I thought I had found my faith, only to lose it again, I give thanks to God or whatever greater power has existed, and hope she/he comes back into our lives.  I give thanks to the good people at our church, who offered Christian love and support during a very tough spring/summer and am glad my kids made some special friendships there.  

I especially give thanks for the moms I know who show me every day, in small and large ways, how to be a better person.  I'm still learning and am beyond impressed by what I get to witness every week; moms being caretakers and most times taking good care of themselves, too.

This year, I am thankful to be in a position to help others, the place I lived in for many years pre-2006.  It gives me a sense of purpose to support others, just as others have supported us when we have needed it.

Finally, I'd be remiss to not to be thankful for the very special kids I work for and with, along with some very talented educators.  I am inspired by children who overcome such adversity and by their parents who only want them to be happy and succeed.  I am fortunate to be able to earn a living helping children thrive.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!  May you be as blessed as I am.  My hope is that we all, me included, will be able to realize that on even the not-so-good days that inevitably occur in the cycle of life.

Winter thoughts redux

This evening, as I moved my car to prepare for the impending blizzard, I was struck by how it actually feels like snow is in the air.  My son and his babysitter took a trip to Build A Bear Workshop where he created "Colorful Bear" (bear #40ish).  I had stocked up on Dan Dan noodles early this afternoon, driving 15 miles to get them. Chili sauce, plain rice noodles, sichuan pickles, and a small amount of ground pork= heaven.  There is a Red Box close to my house and "The Social Network" was available so that's my exciting activity for the night.  It seems an ironic movie to be watching given recent events.  Facebook, emails, blogging... they are something we all partake in.  My teenager has introduced me to a few other social networking sites, and I am far too old and uncool to know what MySpace offers.

I think about the reality of things I have experienced in my life, especially over the past five years.  I was there, my memory is not impaired from remembering the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.  Today, my family is pretty close to intact, my friends are amazing, the support system for our children is strong.  As added bonuses, there have been victories for clients at work in recent days.

My "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" moment came when reading for the first time Andrew's neuropyschological evaluation.  It unsettled me and left me sobbing.  For years,  I thought my kid might have been one of the few to "lose the (autism) diagnosis".  Alas, that is not to be.  It's a given that testing is hard for him and he doesn't perform well, but scoring under the 1st percentile on most testing tools shocked even me.  Autism sucks.  However,  now the adults can try to figure out what it is he needs to be a successful learner.

Tomorrow, the Christmas tree will come down as we find things to amuse ourselves with during the snowstorm.  I'll go skiing in the Fells with friends when the baby-sitter comes in the afternoon, and a new beginning will be had.   I will hold my little boy tight tonight, gently stroke my cat while she sits here on my lap, and take in the beautiful scent of the burning "Fresh Balsam" candle.   Life is good and I am indeed blessed.  Lynda, Whitey, and perhaps my cousin Denise (who left this world far too early two years ago today) were watching out for me today.

It has been a certifiably awful few weeks. The stress has taunted me, daring me to fall apart. By giving into that depression, it would make my family disintegrate, my autistic son's world turned upside down.  It amazes me that anyone would knowingly contribute to the sadness and confusion of a little boy who lives every day with autism, working so hard to fit into a neuro-typical world, by hurting the most important person in the world to him- his mom.  I am so grateful to those people who have supported my little family and who know the truth, have known it for years as they lived it alongside me and my kids, even if it is ugly.  Domestic violence is rarely pretty.  I didn't do a good job listening to my friends for a long time; now I know better. I love you all.

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My teenager.