As parents, it's our job to listen to our kids. We don't always have to agree with what they say, but we have a responsibility to hear them out. Today, Andrew's autism got the better of him and I tried to keep pushing him. In all my attempts to calm him, or make him re-focus, in the end, he ended up having a major tantrum and crying. When I was tucking him into bed, he was able to verbalize that he was sorry and said "I had a bad day, Mom, I was just tired". The tears came as soon as I turned off the light and walked out, my head spinning wondering why I did such a poor job respecting the communication he was attempting to have with me.
Autism doesn't reason well. Things are very black and white. Things either make sense to a kid, or they don't. Because of this rigidity, he misses out on so much. Even things he likes, like the Wii, he has meltdowns over if he doesn't do as well as he'd like, or if his Wii "me" doesn't look perfect. It's very sad to witness.
I think about all the missed weeks and evenings when I should have been supporting him and have been more present. Instead, I had entered the dating world. Would it have made a difference? I have no idea. What I do know is this all feels helpless sometimes and autism for my boy-man is more challenging than ever.
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